So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
