the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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