and you said cock pushups were impossible
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
