what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
