school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
