it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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