i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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