bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
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It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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