am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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