My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
