Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
