he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize