So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize