is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
