Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
