Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
