My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
