why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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