He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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