Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
