Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Randomize
