My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
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I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
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Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.