covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
