yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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