I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize