Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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