Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
