i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just want nice things and good sex
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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