Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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