Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
