do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
