Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
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Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
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Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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