On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
