it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
