I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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