i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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