my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
