It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
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im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
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You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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