Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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