I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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