I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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