I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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