booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Randomize
