Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
