Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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