Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
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attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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