just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
the room spins SO much faster in panama
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She needs sedatives and a leash
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
