so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
