New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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