Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
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