Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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