I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
now i know why i became what i already was.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
