I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
