my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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