i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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