tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
