he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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