So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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