seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We need to get me chipped asap
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
