I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
