how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
