I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
