i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
