Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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