so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
