isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have post one night stand depression
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
