3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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