Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
