wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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