used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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