Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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