i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Randomize
